The band played on

Despite your usual scribe being slightly hors de combat (insert your own joke about femmes de guerre here), Desperate Measures have continued with their busy schedule through October 2013.

Sunday 6th October saw the band appear again at the Bedford Hotel in Tavistock for the regular jazz lunch, held on the first Sunday of each month.  A couple of weeks later, the band made the long trip to the wild regions of north Devon for a gig in Lymouth.

While all this was going on, the eternal quest for variety added two new tunes to the repertoire - ‘Sermonette’ and ‘You and the Night and the Music’.

Playing in a bigger venue in Lynmouth - a town hall - highlighted some PA problems for the band which, although not a problem for the audience (who were very happy with the music), created some difficulties for the band. 

There are well-known irritations for musicians in a band, such as the inebriated audience member asking a jazz band if they “know any Oasis”, or a guest vocalist handing out parts written in faint pencil, just as the lights are dimmed so that they can be in the spotlight.  Another, perhaps more common, is being unable to hear what other band members are playing - a particular problem with larger venues.  And it was the latter problem that led to some discomfort at Lynmouth.

We only have a simple PA, with limited monitoring facilities, even if the complexity of cables might give another impression....so, some experimentation may be required to improve things.  On the bright side, the experience has only served to increase the determination of the band to provide a polished performance.

Coming up this weekend (2nd/3rd November), a hard weekend for the band with an evening gig in Fowey on Saturday night, followed by the November lunchtime gig at the Bedford.

Meanwhile, your scribe continues with an enforced low-fat diet.  The other day, a girl stopped me in the street and said she’d seen me at a vegetarian party.  I thought, that’s funny, I never met herbivore.

September in the Rain

 7th September 2013 Bicton Park Gardens

Bicton Park isn't what you might necessarily expect from a park.  As well as the usual gardens and botanical features, there is also an eclectic collection of family-centred entertainments, including playgrounds and a narrow guage railway. And a church.  Where they can have weddings. 

The church at Bicton Park

So it came to pass, that the DMs were booked to provide background music while the newlyweds and guests mingled after the ceremony for drinks and photographs before their meal.

Cherub laments booking of yet another **** jazz band

As befitted the occasion, we all wore our best bib and tucker (which according to Wkipedia are actually women's clothes?) but we were outshone as usual by the sartorial wardrobe of our drummer.

Drummer exhibits dapperness, while eating chocolate, with a normal band member for comparison

While we prepared for all this, the sun was shining and, although rain was forecast, it was decided that some of the band ought to play outside "so that the wedding party could see the band".  This led to a hasty rehearsal of semaphore, and some less polite sign language, as the rhythm section in the marquee endeavoured to hear what the front line were doing outside the marquee.  Or even see where they were.

Lonely bass player asks bar staff where everyone went

Sadly - although perhaps it was for the best - as the wedding procession processed toward the marquee, the heavens opened. Cue frantic dash of front line back into the tent...

Lemme in, it's ****** down!

Frantic re-arrangements as band leader attempts to start first tune....

Professionals that we are, the music started on time and the slightly bedraggled guests entered, moving neatly in time with Manha de Carnaval.

And at precisely three o-clock, as the meal began, we finished our last number.

We stopped for a few sandwiches kindly provided for us and began the damp process of collecting our cars and packing up and moving the kit.  A damp process which even affected your scribe's camera....

Picture of damp band members reveals Felicity's angelic aura

Next gig, back at the Bedford on October the 6th!

Another day, another dinner

1st September 2013 and 27th August 2014

No photograph of the Desperate Diners' Club this month - you've seen enough of us tucking into our roast beef....

...but today (Sunday 1st September 2013) we returned to the Bedford Hotel for our first-Sunday-of-the-month jazz lunch outing.  We were missing our pianist Geoff and baritone player Felicity who had a prestigious gig elsewhere, so the rhythm section had to concentrate properly for a change.

We played to a packed dining room, and what we believe was an appreciative audience, many of whom had been attracted by the prospect hearing some jazz standards while they enjoyed their lunch.  And then we enjoyed our lunch where we regaled by stories of Charlie's water feature and how Guiness helped our drummer discover oysters.

The Bedford Hotel



It's been a busy couple of months for the Desperates, and we have another gig next week - making three weekends in a row.  Last week, on the Bank Holiday Monday, we were at our "home" venue, outside the Royal Oak at Meavy.  We rehearse in the parish hall there and always visit the Oak to check the quality of the beer.  And we enjoy playing there.  Even if (we hear) a few local residents don't....there's a moral about living next to a village grenn with a pub there somewhere.

On a sunny day the venue is idyllic.

Meavy village green, packed with people enjoying the cider festival, the sunshine, and Desperate Measures

Our little spot outside the pub.

Next week, we're off to the wilds of east Devon - crikey, the venue is even further than Exeter.

Diamonds Last Forever

3rd August 2013

08.30 hrs Buckfastleigh

V had hoped his retirement in a quiet Devon village would enable him to pursue his love of fine wine, skillfully-prepared food and modern jazz, although he had accepted that his interest in fast cars and might be curtailed somewhat. 
 
He also knew that no-one who worked for the service ever really retired.

He had received the text this morning while eating a single egg, boiled for three and a third minutes and presented in a blue porcelain egg cup with a gold band around the top. It was a very fresh, powder blue egg from Crested Cream Legbar hens owned by a still active female operative known as D, who lived in nearby Meavy.  Irritated by the interruption, he checked the text message.  One word sparked his immediate interest: diamonds.

17.00 hrs Bedford Hotel, Tavistock

The semi-professional 10-piece jazz band, Desperate Measures, met to set up their PA for a sound check in preparation for a private function.  V and D were both there.  Playing with this band provided excellent cover for their activities.  And this was another opportunity to keep an eye on the band leader, C Sing Lowe, who V knew to be a freelance wet operator.
 

18.30 hrs Robertson’s Restaurant and Pizzeria, Pepper Street, Tavistock

The band moved to Robertsons- apart from D, who had taken the opportunity to run a cyber intercept on Sing Lowe’s 64 GB iPhone 5, which unfortunately returned nothing but cricket scores.

V's instinctive choice of a 2003 Pomerol and 2008 Chablis caused a few raised eyebrow around the table and immediately alerted Sing Lowe who had studied the tastes of British agents.  Realising his mistake, V improvised an embellishment of his back story about his first teenage love which was based on a sanitised version of an early mission involving Kooli Tüdruk, a female Estonian spy who loved him.

Sing-Lowe cleverly turned the conversation to schooling and established which band members had received classical educations, knowing that secret services all over the world recruited such agents.  This revealed that most of the band were probably unlikely to be who they claimed to be.  V also admitted that he had scored 23% in his Maths O level, realising too late that this considerably weakened his cover story of a career in banking...

The band return to the bar in the Bedford, eyeing each other with suspicion - particularly the immaculately-dressed Linney who was overhead talking to V about a leak.

In the bar Sing Lowe picks a small seat, realising too late that his choice of shirt shows his true pedigree

CIA operative Tessa listens in to agents discussing pirates based in Penzance and what happened to the policeman they put in a unhappy lot

***

Yeah, well, sorry.  Silliness again.  You had to be there.  Sensible stuff now.

There was a diamond connection.  Desperate Measures were at the Bedford on Saturday to play at a Diamond Wedding celebration - a gig we were offered as a result of our Sunday lunch gigs at the hotel. This time, the usually carpeted dance floor was revealed so we had to arrange ourselves around it in a sort of L shape.

The L-shaped Boom (caption courtesy of Mick Johnson)

We started later than we had planned because, as at all wedding-related celebrations, the speeches and cake-cutting took longer than anticipated.  We therefore played our first two planned sets without a break and the dance floor provided us with an entertaining variety of dancing styles.

In our break, the celebrants’ grandson entertained the party singing a range of songs that were largely a mystery to our rather more mature ears but which were well received by those present.  So when we returned to play again, Jo pruned our planned final sets to fit the remaining hour, finishing at midnight with “Too Young” - a song with particular redolence for the happy couple.

So it was a return home in the early hours for the band - a very long day, especially for those who had to travel some distance.  So it does feel as if diamonds last forever.

See you at Meavy on Bank Holiday Monday for the Cider Festival.

Steamy Weather

A sensible blog for a change....

Steamer Quay Road in Totnes leads to a large grassy area alongside the River Dart known as Longmarsh, and it was here that the Desperates assembled on Sunday 21st July 2013, on one of the hottest days of the year.

Totnes Rotary organised the Canoe Festival

 

Although we were delighted that the weather was delivering a long-awaited heatwave, we were not so happy to learn that we would be playing outside (having been promised a marquee).  First task therefore was to slap on the sun cream and look for a hat.  Fortunately the nearby RNLI stand sold rather fetching caps.

 

The sun has got his on, and so have Tess and Rich

Second task: find some power for the PA and amps.  A noisy generator was provided which we promptly moved behind next door’s refreshment wagon.

Our space, sandwiched between, er, sandwich wagons.

We played two sets, in our alloted slots between the brass band, the magic show, the folk dancing, the Zumba dancing and the boats being raced up and down the river.

Dep. keyboard man, Tez, wisely brought his own hat.

The weather was hot but Rich and Deb are looking cool

Rich is drawn towards the ice-cream van; Jo vainly hopes for a 99

A long day for us all, and as the crowds thinned, it was with some relief we finished our second set and went home to nurse our sunburn.

Charlie and Tess give it beans

 

Happy beats, I got those happy beats



"I played alright."  "Yeah, well, so did I."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Once Upon a Time in the West Country

It was well past high noon.  The guns may not have blazed, but the sun delivered rapid-fire heat.  The air was so still that the tumbleweed had taken root.  From all around the parish, the crowds had gathered.  Cowpokes and wranglers, buckaroos and bandits, drifters and greenhorns had assembled at Shaugh Prior and walked bravely across country to Meavy, in the wildest West Country.

The parish folk camped around the saloon near the chuck wagon



The horses argued about whether a pony could really do a moonwalking dance

Local indians "Dances with Fooballers (but only from Wolverhampton)" and "Looks Strangely at Horses"

But they all were here to find out if the rumours were true.  Were the Desperados coming to town?

Yes of course they were!  At first the gathered masses were happy.  The sight of Two-Gun Tess and Dead-Eye Deborah sent a shiver down their backs, but it would be alright, Sheriff Checkshirt Charlie was there to keep order.  But when Fast-drawers Flic turned up the crowd got nervous.  They couldn’t face the music today.  The assembled masses high-tailed it out of town.

Checkshirt Charlie tries to keep order

Enough of this strained narrative!  The truth was that the Parish Plod Charity walkers had obviously arrived sooner than planned - or rather, we had been booked later than we should have been.  Unfortunately, that meant that when we started playing at 2 pm on Sunday 14th July 2013, outside the Royal Oak at Meavy, most of the walkers had walked.

But there was still an audience and the show must go on.

The band played on under the old oak tree

Even that drum box is almost smiling

A few beers were consumed, barbecue rolls consumed, we played and played.  The shadows began to lengthen, and it was time to go home.  The sun blinded the Western sky, and the tumbleweed stirred in the late afternoon breeze.

As I drove away, I think I heard a young boy cry “Dave!    .........Come back!”. 

Well, he might have said "Shane!", and it might have been in my head.

Toot Sweet

June 2nd 2013 arrived with sunny skies, bringing the coldest Spring on record to an end.  (We hope).  A beautiful day for sitting outside, listening to the gentle sounds of a blackbird singing, and quiet children's games in the neighbouring gardens.  And what's that?  Oh, someone mowing their lawn with a noisy hover machine....and now, there's the sound of an angle grinder cutting paving slabs.  The constant yapping of someone's darling little dog completes the idyllic picture....

You'd obviously be much better off listening to Desperate Measures at another jazz lunch in the Bedford Hotel in Tavistock!  Hard to believe another month has passed but there we were, accompanied only by the toots of passing steam traction engines giving attendees at the steam fair slow rides past the hotel.

This time our set up process prompted a discussion about cables with a staff member who is studying music production.

A Bedford staff member examines Tessa's coil

But our cables were tucked away this time. 



Well, it's a little bit tidier.

Now, it may be blowing our own trumpet (ha ha), but I think the band gets better every time we play here.  Confidence is growing, and we are more relaxed.  There are things we need to work on, as always, but there were some very good performances in there.

So not a long blog today, because it's the same place as the last post, and pretty much the same thing.

We'll be back at the Bedford in July, but we'll miss August.  Our calendar is filling up with a couple of new events that will appear in more detail on the web site.  And watch this space for reports on how we get on.

There always has to be a picture of our reward at this venue, so here it is:




It's a hard life

And we got our just desserts too.  Chocolate cheesecake or bread and butter pudding.  Sweet.

And so, with sun still high, we made our way home to enjoy the sounds of our gardens.  And for Debs, this meant a chance to listen to her lettuces (you had to be there).